Respect (definition) is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Respect has many facets.
Respect for gender. Respect for culture. Respect for religious or spiritual beliefs. Respect for sexual preference.
Respect for Your-Self.
Different but part of the whole
Respect difference - yours and mine.
Not everyone has the same values, beliefs or ways of being AND that is OK.
You can respect difference AND enjoy connection.
Diversity adds a richness to life
Have you ever let something go until the resentment explodes from you like a spewing volcano?
Have you tried to avoid conflict by "swallowing" the anger at the lack of consideration for your needs or disrespect for you?
When you have had a "gut full" you finally ask for what like a screaming banshee only to have the other person say "why didn't you tell me?" or loose the relationship/friendship/job.
Be respectful with others - they deserve your honesty!
You can agree to disagree!
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Can you name what respect looks like for you and know how to ask for it assertively?
Can you ask others to let you know what respect looks like for them?
Self-re·spect (definition) pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honour and dignity
You cannot show respect for others unless you respect your-self.
Self-respect grows with self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion
"Embracing otherness, embracing self" Thandie Newton shares her thought provoking journey of awareness, understanding and acceptance of self.
Watch her TED Talk here
Respect your-self after all you are the best judge of what is right for you!
4 Tips to Action Self-Respect
#1 Your needs and desires are important!
Do speak your truth
Do be assertive about your needs and desires
Do listen to others
Do be open
#2 Your opinions are important!
Do be honest about what you need, desire or believe.
Don't apologise - apologising can become a habit. Check your "I'm sorry" Are you really?
Don't agree with others to avoid conflict or fear of bringing up the strong feelings in others
#3 Be truthful!
There is no such thing as a "white lie" or a "social lie" - a lie is a lie!
Do be gentle and sensitive in your delivery.
Don't stretch the truth or exaggerate, leave bits out, or act helpless to get what you want.
Don't lie to avoid hurting others feelings or avoid confrontation
#4 Stick to your values!
Don't be a people pleaser or a YES (wo)man
Don't compromise things that are important to you
Do live your values - you can be different to the crowd
Useful Self- Respect Strategy
Marcia Linehan the leading Dialectic Behavioural Therapist (DBT) developed an acronym for actioning self-respect - FAST
F.A.S.T. = Self-Respect
(be)Fair
(no)Apologies
Stick to your values
(be)Truthful